The Reason that the Sky is Blue
by DearSweetPapercut
Summary: Three people. Three stories. Three lies.
1. Chapter 1

**Warning:** If you are a dedicated GSR fan- this story is most certainly NOT for you. Read on at your own risk.

I was listening to the radio and the song "Unfaithful" by Rihanna came on and inspired me.

(Alongside personal experience of watching a long distance relationship simply just dissolving in the matter of a year)

I hope you can understand where this is coming from. Please review.

Also thanks to Charlie for the encouragement on this one.

Disclaimer: I own zilch.

**The Reason that the Sky is Blue **

**Part One: Grissom**

The evening had come and gone as the night settled in with all of its intensity over Las Vegas. The darkness acted as the perfect cloak for sin. The fireplace crackled beside him as Gil Grissom sat hoping that the taste of Jim Beam would cure the ache that had settled in his chest. He laughed inwardly at just how appalling his method of avoidance was but acknowledged that nothing else would have suited the turmoil that had cast itself like fog over his life.

It was the click of the lock that brought everything back down to the same crashing reality that seemed to plague him. Sara appeared through the door her coat wrapped firmly around her waist and held shut to hide what she was wearing underneath, the make-up she wore was more than he had ever seen her in before. Her expression was that of guilt- a look that he had almost memorised over the past few months. Grissom looked away not wanting to catch her eye as the sound of her heels neared him. He knew that if they exchanged an honest look the facade they had built around their hearts would come crashing down.

"I'm sorry I got caught up at work." The words came out as a raspy, whisper.

He could feel his heart stop as he swallowed another one of the lies she had prepared for him. He had gotten used to simply just giving her a half smile pretending that he couldn't see the obvious finger prints of another man across her skin, her heart.

As time had passed it had become obvious that her disappearances for hours at a time were for secret rendezvous. She'd changed. The things that he had memorised about her behaviour had slowly dissolved. There were things that Sara now did that Grissom didn't recognise as the actions of his wife. She'd started wearing her wedding ring on a chain when she went out, a chain he presumed she would take off and leave on the night stand of the man she was sleeping with. He'd picture the gold glinting in dim lighting as her new found attention to her appearance was praised without words. He'd caught her deleting messages from her phone- something she had never done before unless the inbox was full. And the most of obvious of all changes, the fact she appeared to be constantly nervous around him. She would flinch as if his touch burned when he'd embrace her while they were in bed. She'd close her eyes for the few seconds it took to say "I love you".

His heart had become like a battlefield as he warred with himself over what was the right thing to do. He would look at her completely lost in intensity of the love he had once felt for her and like a ghost choose to remain silent over the issue that was tearing him apart. Grissom didn't realise how much it would hurt knowing until he had to watch her walk out of the front door every day knowing that there was a chance that she would be with him. It was like a knife to the gut when she would reappear in the evening with a 'sorry' that was layered with remorse.

But every day for the past three months he had accepted that it was a way of living. It was a way of not completely losing her.

In as much time he had figured out who it was that seemed to be slowly tearing his wife's heart away from him; Greg Sanders. A friend. A solace. A companion. A younger man, with charm and a disarming smile.

Younger.

That was something that bothered him, or rather, worried him. His very obviously increasing age had, had an impact on their bedroom activities and his grown to be more aware of his changing form while his wife had maintained all of the signatures of youth. Their age gap had always worried him but they had connected on such a deep level that the physical aspect of their relationship hadn't seemed all that important. It was not until now, where he'd attempt to force images of Greg and Sara out of his mind that he realised just how much of an impact it truly made. He thought of the younger man satisfying his wife in ways he hadn't been able to.

But knowing that it was someone who genuinely loved her made it even more painful. Because it wasn't just about sex. Greg was not simply a man she had used to forget him, their problems and then tossed aside. No. There was so much more to this. He was someone that made her feel safe and cared for. He was a close friend, someone she genuinely trusted to not hurt her.

In his mind he would imagine Greg taking advantage of Sara's vulnerable state; he would have pulled her closer while she cried on his shoulder, his hands carelessly rubbing her back and leg as he attempted to comfort her. The feeling of her body pressed up against his too much to ignore, Grissom could picture the way he would drop his lips to hers ignoring her initial resistance. But no matter how hard he tried to convince himself of the story he realised that he couldn't. Greg had stood aside for years, he had simply let Sara have what made her happy, and as much as Grissom wanted to believe it, he couldn't imagine the younger man acting inappropriately with her after all of this time.

That theory was pushed to the back of his mind and another would reappear. It was this hypothesis that ripped through his heart like broken glass- Sara had instigated their affair. She'd just wanted to the hurting to stop and silence her doubtful mind as she led him by the hand to his bed silently inviting him to make love to her.

It was the knowledge that there was something that Greg could offer her that he could not, there was something that he wasn't doing that destroyed him as he sat pretending to believe Sara when she said that she had been working late.

Grissom realised that perhaps he didn't want to confront her for the fear of losing her completely. He was worried that if he asked her to decide, she would choose Greg.

He realised that he wouldn't be able to cope without her, so perhaps remaining quiet over the issue was all he could do.

Perhaps hoping that she would return home to him at the end of the day was all that was left.


	2. Chapter 2

Please review.

Disclaimer: I own zilch.

**The Reason that the Sky is Blue **

**Part Two: Sara **

A lump built up in Sara's throat as she listened to the sound of her heels clicking against the pavement, with each step her heart beat quickened. She wanted to take her time but she knew that she didn't have the luxury of that. They only had an hour to spare, an hour together- no more, no less. Sara wanted to walk around the city, loose herself in the crowd; become invisible. She wanted to think about the decisions she's made, and the person she really was because everything seemed to be happening so fast. Everything seemed to be so existent.

She knocked on his front door her hands curled up into fists at her sides as she awkwardly stood on his door step on display to the world as an adulteress.

Rain had been falling softly all day, covering Las Vegas in a mist of gloss, the reflection of neon lights danced off the ground like an imitation of what was happening above it. People made their way through the streets oblivious to the rising humidity and dense atmosphere that had settled over the city. Traffic churned away on the streets relentlessly ignoring the hours of the day.

Agitation settled in Sara's stomach as there was still no reply at the door; she impatiently rang the bell while pondering whether simply just walking away would be her best option. But the moment passed when he appeared before her with his hopeful eyes and a worried expression.

"I heard about your case-" he started speaking but before he had the chance to finish his sentence Sara had caught his lips with her own to silence him. She wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him closer.

"I don't want to talk." she announced breaking the kiss and breathing heavily. That night's case had gotten under her skin in a way she hadn't experienced in many years. She had sat looking into the eyes of a woman who had murdered her husband. After years of abused, most of which was evident on the exposed parts of her skin, she'd snapped adding belladonna to his wine. She'd sat across from him at the dinner table watching his body spasm and flail like a fish out of water before the unbearable pain settled in running through his blood stream without mercy.

And while Sara listened to her story all she could think of was the way that she was sitting aside and watching her husband hurt in ways that neither one of them knew were possible.

Even though the pain she was inflicting on him was not physically, she knew that she was leaving scars on his heart that would perhaps never heal. He had taken a leap of faith for her; he had opened himself to love and trust. But in the past few months she has broken down what they had built brick by brick. She had on many occasions tried to stop what was happening but she realised that she could no longer control it. Being around Greg made her weak. The smell of his skin, his eyes lingering on her when she spoke, the feel of his hand on the small of her back as they walked out the door of the lab all had her unravelling. What Sara had previously attempted not to acknowledge was just how dependent she had become on him. It wasn't supposed to go this far. She had never intended for it to happen this often. And every time she thought about it she felt disgusted with herself. She felt pathetic.

The first time she had been with Greg it felt so wrong, she'd felt so dirty. She had walked to his house in the middle of the night, with darkness as her cover. Her husband had been away for just over a year and the monthly visits were starting to take a toll on her. But as she stepped in and out of the orange glow of the street lights she realised that she was getting closer to something tangible. He opened the front door with sleep clouded eyes and a frown. With a deep breath for courage she stepped over the door frame planting a kiss on his lips. Then without a word led him back to his bedroom, where she undressed and offered herself to him with a tear in her eye.

Greg had tried to stop her. He had tried to push her away when she stepped even closer to him her skin yearning for his touch. But one sentence had changed his resistance in moments to passion.

"_I need you." _

And it had been true. She did need him. She needed him to remind her of what it felt like to feel again. She needed him to awaken her body and assault her senses in a way she had never experienced. She needed the desperation, the ardour he had in his eyes as he threw her onto the bed. Years of frustration and unacknowledged lust exploded out of him but Sara hadn't said a word, she'd taken the pain he'd caused her, his roughness and the way he'd pinned her down by her wrists as the punishment she deserved.

Once he'd fallen asleep she had returned home, walking the exact way she had came watching out for differences as she went. But there weren't any. She still felt hollow, she still felt empty. The loneliness she had attempted to conceal was still lingering beneath the surface picking at her skin.

She'd stood under the scalding hot water of the shower scrubbing at her skin until it was red raw in order to dispel the ghost of his hands. But it didn't work. She could still feel him all over her and she could still taste him on her lips. Sara had simply given up resting her head against the tiled wall of the bath room and let the tears make themselves familiar with the path down her cheeks.

But when it happened the next night things changed. They truly became different. She had gone to his house the same way as the night before expecting him to turn her away but he had silently stepped aside to let her in. Handing her a glass of wine, he apologised for the night before and asked her to explain. Their eyes met and Sara couldn't stop herself, everything was flooding out- the loneliness, the frustration and the empty nights she had spent wishing that things were different. He hadn't said a word, he hadn't shown her pity just pulled her into his arms and held her until she'd stopped crying.

Looking into his eyes she asked him to make love to her in nothing more than a whisper. And with a moment's hesitation, he led her up the stairs his fingers intertwined in hers like real lovers. Greg was gentle this time as she rediscovered his body kissing and caressing as much of his skin as she could. And when they had finished she didn't feel bad, she simply clung to him as they fell asleep and it was then that Sara knew that he'd become her escape.

Over the next few weeks he had become like an addiction, she would pull him close at whatever chance she had letting his body take complete control of hers- in the back seat of the department issue Denali, the storage cupboard at the lab, the shower in the locker room. They would spend their spare time wrapped up in each other, savouring each other. Sara would rest her head on Greg's chest listening to the sound of his heart beat as if it were talking to her in Morse code. With each night they spent together the sex became increasingly representative of the conflicts Sara had began experiencing between her head and her heart. She would cling to him for far longer than she should. She would kiss him with more meaning than intended. She'd think she loved him before brushing it aside.

But when Grissom had returned to Vegas for an extended break everything came crashing down as what she was really doing sunk in. The distance between them hadn't disappeared as they attempted to reacquaint themselves but the detachment remained between them in the confines of their house.

Sara wanted to stop but she realised that she just couldn't.

Greg made her feel alive.

Greg made her feel.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you all for reading and reviewing so far, please keep them coming I love hearing your feedback.

Disclaimer: I own zilch.

**The Reason that the Sky is Blue **

**Part Three: Greg**

Greg sat in the silent darkness of his kitchen drinking his fourth beer of the night as Sara stood at his front door. A part of him wanted to leave her there. Leave her wanting more because that was all she seemed to ever do to him. But he realised that he couldn't. If he left her she would crumble. If he left her he would be lost. So taking one final swing to finish of the bottle he opened the door to her. Sara looked distraught, she looked beautiful. And he found every single one of the doubts he held close to his heart dissolving.

Deep down Greg knew that this was just another night of discontent. Everything was exactly the same as the routine they performed every time they would let their guards down. The night escaped into the house like an unwanted guest, her hands were shivering with nerves. Like always she had parked her car a block away and walked there.

Like always, he took her to his bed. He had sex with her.

It was a night like any other.

He lay in bed wrapped in sheets drenched in her scent and their sex while watching Sara dress herself. She barely looked at him as she searched for her shirt fully aware his eyes were studying her form. A lump built up in his throat as his hopes tumbled to the ground like the old casinos that had built this town. But he knew well enough that when she appeared at his door the night time he would let her in. He would let her build him up just to stand aside and watch him fall down.

Greg didn't know what it was but something inside him kept the sparks of hope alive, that one day what they had would be real, that he would not simply be an escape to Sara. Every time she came to his bed it meant something more, the simply physical facade would slip and with every time they were together they would memorise something else about each other. There were nights were she would let him hold her. And in those times it amazed him just how right it felt to have her in his arms, how they seemed to fit together like puzzle pieces.

But she would always leave him. She never stayed the whole night; she would never really be his. Her heart was slowly opening up to him as they worked through all of their frustrations and all of the things that were wrong while under the sheets. But he knew that it would never last. She'd dress silently before whispering _'Goodbye'_ and disappearing into the dark.

They wouldn't talk about it when her husband was home. They barely talked at all when he was in the country, it was like for those few days Greg knew that was invisible and he was reminded of his position on their 'relationship' and inevitably when Grissom left again she would turn up on his doorstep like before.

That was the one difference about this night. Grissom was home. Her husband was waiting for her but still she had found her way to him.

Greg tried his hardest not to dwell on what this meant, because he knew that another hit of disappointment would break him down completely. It amazed him the things that he would put himself through in order to disguise the pain he felt when he thought about the emptiness of his life. It astounded him the things he would do for Sara.

Once she'd dressed herself she didn't leave, she sat herself on the edge of the bed while tears ran down her cheeks. Watching her hurt felt like a stab to the heart. He moved forwards wrapping his arms around her as she sobbed into to his skin. Her arms found their place around his neck as she clung to him helplessly. It was in that moment that Greg realised that perhaps Sara was just as broken as he was. It was then he wondered what the scars Grissom had inflicted on her really looked like.

Over the past few months the only thing Greg experienced himself needed as they drowned themselves in sin was for Sara to be alright. She acted in a way that mesmerised him in public, smiling at the mention of her husband's name, using the correct intonation while talking about him to suggest love. Behind closed doors- those things were far from the truth. In front him she would unravel, she'd beg him to make her forget as she rocked her hips against his. If he was honest that was not what he wanted. He didn't want to make her overlook the things that were wrong. He wanted to make her happy.

"Hey, it's going to be okay, I got you." He whispered into her hair as he held her as tightly as he could, hoping that it would be enough to stop the hurting. It seemed like whatever he did wasn't enough.

"I can't do it anymore." She muttered to him and he could feel his heart break into a thousand pieces. Sara looked into his eyes, not being able to hide the look of fear that had settled on her features. She kissed him slowly and Greg wondered if this was goodbye.

"I can't...I can't go home to him, knowing that I'm breaking his heart...that I'm...in love with someone else." Sara didn't meet his eye this time. She kept her vision focused on the wedding ring around her neck. Greg felt like he'd been hit by a rainstorm in the middle of the desert, this had been all he had wanted from the moment he had met Sara but a sense of anguish settled in his blood stream because it wasn't that simple. They had built themselves a complex web of lies. And Greg realised that it would take time for them to escape from what they had created.

"Are you sure?" he asked quietly, barely in control of the words that were escaping his lips. Sara glanced up at him and then back at her ring, her eyes wide with fear.

"...No..." She said slowly, shrugging her shoulders attempting to force the tears away.

"Then go home Sara...tell him that you had to do paper work...or there was traffic...anything...but you can't throw everything away if you're not sure...I love you...I'll always be here for you." Greg explained with as much clarity as he could.

"Greg-" she started to speak but he placed a finger gently on her lips to stop her.

"I'll still be here." he assured her.

Sara simply nodded with a look of despair and she kissed him slowly resistant of letting go. She threw him one last glance before disappearing out of the door.

Greg laid back staring at the ceiling, running through everything that had ever happened between them in his mind. He recalled the early signs of pining that had made themselves existent in his life, the first time that he'd realised that the loved Sara and everything in between. The heartbreaking tone of her voice as she said he loved him lingered in the air and in his memory.

Those words didn't bring him any comfort.

Those words didn't seem like enough.

And it was all because still Sara wasn't really his.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you all for reading and reviewing so far, please keep them coming I love hearing your feedback.

Disclaimer: I own zilch. (apart from a broken heart)

**The Reason that the Sky is Blue **

**Part Four: Sara **

The humidity clung to Sara's pores as she made her way through the crowds that had gathered on the strip to watch the light show. She needed to disappear. She needed to be somewhere she could just be another face in the crowd not a character in the tragic screen-play that had slowly developed into her life. Sara couldn't be at home pretending to be the committed wife. And she didn't want to be at Greg's playing the role of illicit lover. Stopping amongst the people she glanced up watching the bright lights above her with awe as if it were the first time she has ever seen them- as if she were someone new to this city- someone who hadn't seen all the hurt and pain caused by the sin that infested every inch of the buildings.

One decision had changed everything. One kiss has been to blame for everything falling apart. One man had been responsible for her complete loss of sanity.

When they worked together she would be reminded of how well they fitted together, how he would make easy work of having her crumbling in his arms. Over the space of a few weeks he had learnt the spots on which to drop kisses, the skin to trace maps on and the moments he needed to hold her close to him. In those few weeks he had discovered every one of her secrets.

But was that enough?

Were those things enough reason to throw away everything she had spent so long building?

As Sara escaped the claustrophobia of the crowd into the deserted parking lot she wondered what it would take for her to be honest- to Grissom, to Greg, to herself.

She wondered if Grissom saw the marks of her affair tainting her skin when he held her at night, if he could smell Greg's cologne on her when she walked through the door. Sara wondered if Grissom had lost of all his respect for her, because in all honesty, she no longer respected herself. She had given in to an urge that she should have controlled. And worst of all she had hurt the one person she claimed she truly loved.

Love.

Sara laughed inwardly at the concept. How could someone who had never have experienced such an intense emotion growing up claim to understand it?

All of the years before she had met Grissom, she had spent drifting amongst places that didn't deserve the name home. She had lingered in the ruins of failing relationships in the hope that things would change, that at some point she would realise that she was in love. Letting herself be anyone that was required for it mean something. Watching as one man after another slowly used her up and let her go when there was no spark left to speak of. Things with Grissom had been different, from the moment she had met him it was as if she had fallen under his spell. Her need to be in his proximity had been obsessive. He'd respected her as a person. He had loved her as a woman. He had listened to her and acknowledged her in the way no other man had before. So she had left her life in San Francisco to live in Las Vegas in the hope that he would let he be all of the things she had wanted to be. And he did. After five years of being built up and then knocked down again he said the words she had been waiting to hear; I love you.

But things had changed.

With each day they had spent apart they became strangers barely recognising each other for the things that had drawn them together. Their time together was always painfully short. And as much as Sara hated admitting it she had never felt so alone.

But that had also changed.

She could feel the guilt coiling in her lower abdomen as she climbed into the driver seat of her car, her head resting on the steering wheel as she wished she could empty her mind. She didn't feel alone any more. Greg had been her solace for so many years and when she felt like everything was falling away from her he had been the first person she had turned to. He had been there for her without any questions like always.

Sara realised that she had been using Greg in the past three months in the same way she had been used herself. He had become a tool to rid herself of the emptiness. But she recalled the sight of an unsympathetic lover disappearing into the darkness not to return until he needed someone to help forget. The heart wrenching feelings of those memories had not dulled and Greg had suffered the same way. The relationship they had created outside the boundary of work had been based purely on sex but they had shared so much than that. They had a connection that she didn't seem to be able to walk away from. They had an intense under the sheet that she had never experienced, not even with her husband. The smell of skin, the sound of heart beat had become home.

There were so many questions she had left unanswered not to face the truth that she had fallen in love with Greg.

And it was that realise that finally made Sara start the car.

The traffic barely moved in the streets trapping Sara with her thoughts as the neon blinded her to what she really should have been seeing. Couples strolled down the seat, hand in hand, oblivious to all of the things wrong in the world that surrounded them. The moon glowered in the distant sky the symbol of nature and truth.

Their house was in an almost idyllic part of the city with town houses lined up as if they were in a European city like Paris or London rather than sin city. Sara recalled when they had viewed the house, the feeling that she had finally a placed where she belonged was too much to ignore but here she was on the way to destroying it all.

As Sara opened the door the sound of Liszt's 'Faust Symphony' floating towards her as she was greeted by memories her heart beat stopping for a moment, her chest heaving with pain she took the next step.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you all for reading and reviewing so far, please keep them coming I love hearing your feedback.

Disclaimer: I own zilch. (apart from a broken heart)

**The Reason that the Sky is Blue **

**Part Five: Grissom**

Grissom stood in the kitchen the sound of pots simmering behind him as he watched the view outside of the window. It was as if he was being amazed by carbon all over again- the sky looked like it was on fire as the sun disappeared beyond the buildings and mountains that created the landscape. For the few moments that he watched the sky the painful knowledge of his everyday life dulled. He had tried hard to keep things going, to keep Sara interested but with each day her disappearances grew longer and she would return with more guilt. With every hour that passed he could feel her slipping away from him. He turned to the chopping board that he had abandoned on the counter top as a sense of jealousy settled into his blood stream. If Grissom was being honest with himself then he envied Greg for his ability to always be by Sara's side. Throughout their relationship they had suffered the sense of distance- the times when they were physically apart and those early times when they were close by but still suffering the agony of separation.

Recently he had found himself dwelling on the distance as he would sit on the endless number of flights and train journeys wondering if he by her side, if he was in her bed. Their bed.

Grissom recalled with painful embarrassment the first time he had ever made love to Sara, it had been gentle and slow but the awkwardness that defined their relationship had lingered under his sheets as he tried his best to make it perfect. She had given him a smile that suggested satisfaction before they had fallen asleep but the doubts had always lingered in his mind. She had given her body to someone else in a way that he could almost understand. He could accept her need to be close to another person- to feel the warmth of another's skin, to be lulled to sleep by their heartbeat, to have someone to hold on those lonely nights. But when she started giving her heart to someone else all those little doubts, all those self deprecating thoughts about how he could never be good enough for her resurfaced. His age, his emotional unavailability and his addiction to his work had always been present in the forefront of his mind.

He always knew she deserved someone better than he was, someone who could give her a beautiful life filled with laughter and love and everything she craved when he fell short. Every fault he could find in himself was somehow underlined by the fact that he had been right and they were both realising that. He wasn't enough for her. He would always push her away without meaning too. He would hurt her in ways she didn't understand.

Grissom thought of the man that had been slowly keeping her heart captive, the man that made up for every one of his flaws and weaknesses. Greg had the advantage of age; he never complained about his knees or his back. Greg had perseverance; he never left Sara with a tear in her eye. Greg kept his honesty; he'd been wearing his heart on his sleeve from the day he had met her not letting his feelings falter for anything.

As he thought about the things Greg had provided for Sara it was as if it had been the younger man that had made those vows to her two years ago.

The sound of the front door swinging open and Sara's footsteps brought him back to reality. Grissom glanced down at his idle hands forcing himself to continue with the task he had set himself. He could feel her presence in the room, standing by the door with a heartbroken expression. She'd brought a storm home with her.

"We need to talk." Her voice cracked as she spoke choking the tears back.

"What about honey?" Grissom continued with his task, not taking his focus off the knife, not looking at Sara knowing exactly what was coming. Knowing the inevitability had finally out done him. The things that had come so easy to Greg had finally been accredited.

"Please..." Sara whispered taking a deep breath her eyes focused on the floor, the indignity of the situation like a cloud above her.

The words, her hopelessness, the tension hit Grissom like a realisation that he had been attempting to avoid. He turned to her with a pained expression. A part of him wanted to take a step forward and pull her into his arms declare that he could forgive her for her betrayal. But he acknowledged that he could not. It would have been wrong. So he silently sat himself down at the dining table and waiting for Sara to take her seat opposite him.

She sat before him with her hands clasped together with her coat still on- that fact alone told him how this conversation would unfold. Sara didn't want to stay. Sara had chosen _him_.

"I...I don't think this is working." She started her eyes focused on her hands as she picked at her thumb nail. "And we can't keep pretending that it is. Can you honestly tell me that you're happy?" She finally looked up at him, her dark eyes wide with fear and anxiety.

"No." He replied shortly the taste of the word lingering in his mouth as he refrained from talking about all of those years ago when they had made each other so happy that the rest of the world had dissolved away from them.

"Neither can I, and as much as I tried to convince myself that we could make this work... I don't think I can anymore..." She took a lungful of air her attention back on her hands. "I've been seeing someone else... and I think... I'm in love with him."

"Okay." This was it. She had said. There was no more pretending, there was no more hoping. Things were over.

"Gil...please...Say something..." She pleaded as he sat in silence.

"What do you want me to say?" He asked softly.

"Ask me to explain...be angry... try and stop me... tell me you hate me... but please say something." Sara was hysterical now not being able to hold the tears back.

"I can't." Grissom knew that no matter how hard he tried he wouldn't have been able to do any of those things. Asking her to explain would involve the listening to the details of how she had found her way into Greg's bed. He couldn't force himself to be angry about something he had already known about, something that he had already had the power to stop. He knew that stopping Sara would have been wrong because essentially he would have been doing nothing but trapping her in a marriage she longed to escape. He could never hate her. She meant far too much to him for that.

Grissom realised that he couldn't do any of the things she had asked because he would always love her and the only thing he wanted was for her to be happy.

And her happiness was not with him. It was not their life.

It was Greg.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you all for reading and reviewing so far, please keep them coming I love hearing your feedback.

I think I may have gotten slightly carried away...

Props to Charlie as always!

Disclaimer: I own zilch. (apart from a broken heart)

**The Reason that the Sky is Blue **

**Part Six: Greg **

Greg sat on the sofa with a tumbler of whiskey cradled in his hands as music filled every corner of his surroundings. The dusty cover of From First to Last's 'Dear Diary..." sat on his coffee table while its songs rang through his ears stirring memories like black coffee through his mind. The cigarette between his fingers slowly burnt out being ignored as every moment passed. With every sound of the kick drum his heart pounded harder in his chest sending a strange mix of hate and longing through his bloodstream. He stubbed out his cigarette and gripped his glass harder as the unavoidable resentment he felt towards Sara presented itself in the forefront of his mind. The more he thought about it the more he wished that he had never met Sara. That he hadn't gotten to know her. That he had never fallen in love with her.

Greg imagined how different his life would have been had he never known Sara, perhaps he would have packed away his life in Vegas to work somewhere by the sea. He would have spent his weekends on a sun soaked beach watching the consistency of the waves and the matching sky. Perhaps he would have met someone that loved in the way he loved. They would have been wrapped up in sun and sheets on Sunday mornings, spent the evenings watching the sunset tangled in each other's arms.

What they had would have been real.

In his mind the life he created for himself wouldn't have involved meeting under the cover of shadows. It wouldn't have involved a married woman.

Never had Greg had his heart broken in the way that it felt every time he watched Sara walk away from him. The resentment he had felt slowly melted into the longing that created the basis of his being. The time they spent apart was simply just a filler of blank emotion till they were reunited under his sheets where every ounce of love, lust and honesty would seep through every pore.

As he took a sip of his whiskey Greg realise that he would never give Sara up because of how he felt when they were together. With no one else was his smile that genuine. With no one else did his heart completely open. There was no one else that he wanted to lock into his embrace and never let go of. He knew in that moment that he would never turn her away. And it was because no one's laugh sounded sweeter. No one's smile was a bright. No one's eyes were as captivating. No one else had him tripping over his own feet by simply just being.

Greg comforted himself with the fact that things had slowly been changing between them. Like the seasons they had adapted themselves to their emotions. When they first began sleeping together it had been like early winter iciness, the vivid colours were a match for their passion and comfortable chills were the excitement that rushed their systems every time they were together. But that had settled into the freezing temperatures of late December. Every time felt like the time before. Sara would barely talk to him, avoiding eye contact as she placed herself in positions that asked him to dominate her. And he would. Without a word he would unleash all of his vexations upon her each night getting progressively rougher and discontented that the last. He would grip her wrists or lace his fingers through her hair until he was sure the throaty moans escaping her lips were almost begging him to send her over the edge. Sometimes her words would come out as a whimper when he expected a growl. He was in control Sara was lost to him in those moments. His anger would well up again, knowing that she was using him and that, the Sara he knew, the Sara she had been wouldn't surrender so easily. She would have fought back. She would have pushed him as hard as he pushed her. So when she pleaded with him he would give her what she wanted, he would vent his frustrations exactly the way she wanted him to until they evaporated along with the sweat of their bodies. The darkness of lust in her eyes would burn across his body, the marks he left on her skin would fade but the scar's she inflicted on his heart would always be there, at least until he could genuinely say she was where she belonged.

It didn't last.

The lust in her eyes wasn't the same, now there appeared to be more sorrow than passion. The lingering dysphoria that had settled between them rained down on them like April showers. One night she'd come to him drenched through, her skin covered in the mixture of rain and tears. She didn't say a word taking his hands in her own; letting his body warm her icy cold skin. Sara looked into his eyes with everything she could muster before kissing him slowly, her lips brushing his with careful sensitivity. And when he carried her upstairs this time he didn't throw her onto the bed if she were a rag doll, he placed her down gently as if she were fragile. They kissed and caressed as if discovering each other's bodies for the first time. And this time Sara didn't turn away from him as he moved steadily in and out of her. Her eyes were focused on his, taking in every emotion that was displayed in hazel. Sara didn't whimper or beg she silently moved with him biting her lip as she experienced a sensation she never had. They exchanged soft kisses not wanting to rush. And this time Greg wasn't in command of her body. This time they weren't just fucking. This time they made love.

The summer settled in next with its overwhelming heat. The lustful desire that had originally fuelled them returned very quickly as they indulged their fantasises, barely being able to keep their hands off each other. Their sex quickly became lascivious, raunchy and often downright dirty. But it wasn't like before. It wasn't rough or possessive. It was passion. It was their need to feel each other's body heat, taste each other's skin and feel each other's pique. It was raw. It was honest. Sara still kept her eyes on him. And just looking at her made his heart beat race. At times they wouldn't make it upstairs because their need for each other conquered their bodies like the sun beating down on the golden sand of the desert. When they finally took leave of each other they would find themselves left breathless, exhausted and satisfied.

But summer doesn't endure the storms of autumn.

The dark skies overwhelmed them and they found themselves caught in a down pour. Sara began slowly pulling away from him. The guilt was becoming evident in her eyes as he held her, she would look into his eyes with a sadness that he hadn't witnessed for a long time. She wouldn't settle in his arms the way she used to, her fingers wouldn't dance over his bare chest in wonderment, the smile he had grown accustom to had vanished. He could feel the distance returning between them before it made itself physically apparent, she was distancing herself from him because she thought she should but he could see it broke her heart as much as it broke his. Sara looked at him with yearning. Her gaze holding him in the way she wanted to; her arm draped over his chest, her head resting on his shoulder, her legs tangled with his.

Greg finished the rest of his whiskey with one fiery mouthful as he realised that the CD had already finished leaving him sitting in silence by himself. He stood up to find the bottle of Jack Daniels where he had abandoned it in the kitchen but as he could hear a fist colliding with his front door relentlessly. With a sigh Greg opened the door to find the woman that had been haunting his thoughts standing before him.

Sara stood breathlessly in front of him her hair dishevelled, her eyes red rimmed from the tears she had cried and her heart in her hands (her left hand without her wedding ring he noted). Without a word she moved towards him planting a hard kiss on his lips pulling him closer to him with her arms hooked around his neck.

"I love you." She announced pulling away breathlessly before kissing him again not letting her need for him falter. Greg felt a sense of warmth run through his body as he wrapped his arms around her waist holding her tightly with the fear that if he let her go then she would disappear, dissolve into nothingness. With her legs around his waist he carried her to his bed but this time was different. This time was special. They collapsed in a heap on the mattress their hands searching each other's bodies and finding each other's souls. Sara muttered into his skin repeated that she loved him as she gave him more than her body. This there was nothing stopping them.

This time there was nothing between them.

This time was complete honesty.


	7. Chapter 7

Okay I feel like I should explain what's about to come! I feel like I need to talk about the reality after an affair is discovered- there are scars that don't fade for anyone that was involved. It's hard to put your life back together and move on. You're left with a million and one reminders but completely alone.

Thank you all for reading and reviewing so far, please keep them coming I love hearing your feedback.

Disclaimer: I own zilch. (apart from a broken heart)

**The Reason that the Sky is Blue **

**Part Seven: Grissom **

The alarm rang throughout the empty bedroom as Grissom lay staring at the ceiling having been awake for so many hours that he could no longer count. The sound of his pager joined the orchestra of noise asking him to rouse from ghost on the empty side of the bed. The evening light burned his eyes as he opened the curtains to the cityscape with a sinking heart.

It was just another day.

The apathetic London skies stretched out over the glimmering grey that built the foundations of the city as the winter took hold of the crisp morning air that streamed through the window. The view before him felt like something of a dream; never had he expected to find himself in such a place. With a defeated sigh Grissom accepted his existence turning his back to the world. But it wasn't enough- the sound of the sirens and traffic six floors below him continued playing like a sound track to his life as a reminder of where he really was.

Grissom poured himself a cup of coffee while the urge to pour a second cup for Sara was suppressed by the reminder of all the nights he had spent alone. He could barely believe it'd been two months since he had last seen her, spoken to her, held her. He could still remember the smell of her skin, the taste of her lips and every curve of her body as if they had been together only yesterday. A heavy, dull ache settled in his chest as his breathing changed to match the fast pace of London life while his mind stayed lost in a place far away.

The city had provided the perfect escape from the affliction of misery that had followed him like a shadow in Las Vegas. When he first moved there he had believed that there was nothing to remind him of Sara. The grey, the quick gait, the noise it was so different from anything he had known before, anything he had shared with her. He would spend his spare time strolling through Regents Park taking in the flowers and the greenery that stood in contrast to the concrete that surrounded it. But he realised that it simply reminded him of how he had been that contradiction for Sara. Her youth, her beauty had simply highlighted what an odd fit they were.

He hadn't shed all of his habits since he had moved. There were things that still lingered that he knew would take time to fade. He still slept on his side of the bed even though there was no longer anyone to occupy the other side. Occasionally when he woke in the morning he would expect her to be here, to be able to share the dream he had had or to talk about what the day might bring. He would find himself turning to tell her something only to realise that there was no one there; that the walls of his apartment were now the only ones there to hear his stories. Liszt would fill the silence that surrounded him as he attempted to wish away all of the loneliness.

A knot of envy would settle in his stomach as he hoped from the bottom of his soul that Sara was happy with Greg. Knowing that she loved him and that she was happy seemed to be the only thing that made what he was experiencing bearable. With resistance brought on by the taste of whiskey on his tongue he would congratulate Greg on being the man he hadn't managed to be. He wondered if it was strange that he didn't feel resentment towards the man that had stole his wife's heart away from him. He had simply accepted losing her as a consequence of his own flaws.

Grissom had slowly grown accustom to the abrupt mannerisms of the local residents and the ability to be absolutely no one in the middle of the city crowds. He had found an odd sense of peace as he worked in a small office a university providing the occasional lectures and he conducted research. The quiet life he had embraced suited him; it had been what he had always wanted.

But that emptiness he couldn't escape.

He missed his companion, his friend, his lover. He missed the woman that made his days brighter. Someone who had given him a renewed faith in what life had been offering him all along. She had waited for him when anyone else would have walked away. Sara had stayed. She had gritted her teeth to all of the pining he had put her through. Grissom had often wondered if this, her love for Greg, had been rooted in fact she had not forgiven him for the things he had done all of those years ago.

As the sound of the clocks ticking filled the small space he called home Grissom realised that he had more time than he wanted to comprehend such questions. No longer did he have someone to wake up to or to wait for.

Never had he dwelt on the ideas of sharing a life with just one person, he had understood the complexities of love lost from a young age having watched his mother mourn for his father. Grissom had kept his eye on the glinting wedding ring on her hand as she had read him stories when he'd been a child wondering why she couldn't bear to let go.

He understood now.

The distance he had put between himself and the people that surrounded him seemed to be a lingering attempt at self preservation that had come far too late. He had already lost the woman he loved.

He had already lost the person that he believed he could be.


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you all for reading and reviewing so far, please keep them coming I love hearing your feedback.

Disclaimer: I own zilch. (apart from a broken heart)

**The Reason that the Sky is Blue **

**Part Eight: Sara **

Sara's senses slowly awoke to a confection of realities as the humidity hung in the air like a secret the occasional breeze renewing the atmosphere. The sound of a heartbeat filled her ears, the feeling of bare skin persistent beneath her finger tips and the smell of someone familiar surrounded her. Sara propped herself up on her elbows and studied the face of the man that become home as if he were a piece of art on display for her, and her only. His eyelashes fluttered as he dreamt and his jaw clenched tightly against an inexistent challenge. He looked so serene, so perfect in the sanctuary of the utopia they had created in these four walls. Sara pressed a gentle kiss to his collar bone where her head had rested and slowly picked herself up not wanting to disturb his beautiful state.

She stepped into the bath room letting the bright white lights display her for who she was, what she really was. The reflection in the mirror hadn't changed. She looked the same as she had always done. But there was a subtle difference. There was the image of guilt that had glinted in her eyes for the past two months. Something, someone, she hadn't been able to shake amongst the tides of change.

Everything that had happened in the past eight weeks had been like a summer storm, the foundations of her life had been torn apart and left in tatters and only now, after so much time had things began to rebuild. The time she spend with Greg was like nothing she had ever experienced before, he made her smile and laugh in a way she imagined teenage love to be. There was nowhere else she wanted to be but in his arms when they were apart. He had a way of knowing what she wanted before she's had the chance to think of it. His honesty, his passion, his need for her was like a cool sea breeze soothing her tortured mind and bleeding heart.

However when they were apart the ghosts of her old life haunted her more than ever.

Sara could see it in the eyes of her friends and co-workers as they attempted to figure out how to talk to her. The silent, steady judgement they offered the woman that had broken Grissom's heart. Catherine had taken to only speaking to her when required and Sara quietly thanked her for not saying the things that were running through her mind. Nick displayed a sense of slight sadness towards her when they were together as he attempted to figure out why she had done what she had.

Every morning she would walk through the door exhausted from the gaze with which everyone watched her. But Greg was there. He would pull her into his arms with a sense of understanding she wished had she could give him. He would whisper softly into her hair and hold tightly her against his warmth and keep her safe in her arms. It didn't change anything though. Sara knew that the next day their vision would be locked on her again, watching her with venom.

She could feel their eyes on her as she walked through the precinct.

The persistence of their gazes on her had gotten under her skin. Sara no longer felt the same. The comfort she had developed with her body seemed to have started to dissolve. She would look in the floor length mirror in the mornings and wonder where this new bout of self doubt had come from. She didn't feel herself. She no longer sauntered in with a causal half smile. The jeans she wore weren't as comfortable, the shirts always seemed to be exposing too much. Sara had found herself covering up in ways she hadn't done in years.

Brass hadn't looked at her the same way since he had discovered information about the affair. As a man who had never been able to forgive his wife for the way she had broken him apart he had no sympathy for Sara. However there were people who had tried not to change, David would still smile at her but she could see that he didn't understand.

No one understood.

And if Sara was honest neither did she.

She couldn't explain the emotions that came over her when she was with Greg. There was no logical explanation for the way he made her feel when they were together; skin on skin. No one else had touched her in the way he had. No one else had her coming undone in the way he did.

And besides the fervour there was nothing but clear honesty in his eyes when he looked at her. There was nothing but love in his smile. There was nothing but sincerity in the sound of his voice.

But why did it not seem like enough?

As every day passed she began feeling the isolation of the hurt she had caused- the people that she had cared about the most and turned away from her. No one wanted to grab a drink after work or have dinner before shift. There was no one to listen to her small chit chat. And the mention of Greg's name had their stomachs visibly turning as they realised the change that taken place.

Sara was forced to think of Grissom- forced to experience the pain that he was experiencing. She had broken his heart. She had betrayed him.

Every time she looked into Greg's eyes she would see a reflection of her own lies and her mistakes.

She stepped under the steady stream of hot water letting it wash over her as she attempted to wash away her sins. Sara closed her eyes and lent back against the titled wall; it was the sound of the shower curtain rustling that caught her attention. She opened one eye to see Greg climbing in with a soft smile. Sara closed her eyes again leaning back waiting for him to make his move. She gasped at the feeling of his lips on her neck as he rested his hands on the wall behind her. Sara wrapped his arms and legs around him bringing him close kissing him on lips. Within in moments they were both ready- wanting one thing. She rocked her hips against his as they lost themselves to each other.

"I love you." Greg whispered to her resting his head against the titles.

Sara took a deep breath and swallowed her guilt for a moment.

"I love you too."


	9. Chapter 9

Thank you all for reading and reviewing so far, please keep them coming I love hearing your feedback.

Disclaimer: I own zilch. (apart from a broken heart)

**The Reason that the Sky is Blue **

**Part Nine: Greg**

The dim light of dusk settled over the city and flooded through the windows as Greg padded down the hall way towards the kitchen. He let his eyes adjust to the darkness as he almost blindly made his way around the floor plan of their house. Their. It felt odd thinking of it as that way but that's what it had become. Sara's things had permanently made a move to his house; her clothes were on one side of his wardrobe, her cookery had taken pride of place in his cupboards, her photos and trinkets were aliened in all corners of the space. She had left her mark on every one of the rooms and all of the walls to remind him of her when she was not there. Not that she was absent often. Sara had found a place by his side and lingered there like the memories of a sad song.

With a sigh he flicked the kitchen lights on letting the bright white stun him in the process as he let his feet adjust to the cool sensation of the tiles. The only sound detectable at that moment in time was that of water splashing in the bath tub as Sara's attempts to not wake him by using the bathroom down stairs had failed. It was not the noise that had dragged him into the stream of consciousness. It was her vacancy from his side.

Greg had recently found himself waking in the mornings to uncover her gone leaving a cold side of the bed to greet him as his tired eyes and restless hands searched for her form. He would be able to hear the shower running and eventually Sara would emerge with red rimmed eyes and a sorrowful smile. She would have out herself back together to fool the world, to fool him, into thinking that everything was okay.

He could feel her starting to pull away from him; her eyes would watch him with detachment as she attempted to imitate the affection she had once felt for him. With every day that passed Greg could feel his heart break a little more as he wondered what had been happening between them while he had been wrapped up in the simple elation of having Sara.

As time passed he could see the glimmer of guilt in her eyes appear again every time he held her- something he had believed would pass once the dust had settled. But the opposite had happened. With each embrace came a new wave of tension that dragged them both under into the unknown. All of this time the one thing that they had known was that they loved each other. And that they had wanted to be together. At least he had known that.

Never had he wanted to doubt Sara. Never again had he wanted to feel like he was losing her. Because after everything they had been through together he realise that he loved her more than he ever imagined he could love anyone. He wanted her more than he ever believed he could want another human being. She had taken all of naive ideas of love and enlivened them to the honest, bitter-sweet longing that they felt for each other.

But he was scared.

Actually Greg felt terrified that she was slipping away from him. He knew Sara well enough to know when she was shutting someone out, when she was hurting. Over the years he had been the person she ran to for safety from the storm. He was the one person she trusted with her problems, with her broken heart. He had been the person that put her back together.

She strolled into the kitchen with a robe tightly wrapped around herself with a sleepy smile she placed a kiss on Greg's cheek before pouring a cup of coffee for herself. He felt a shiver down to his very core as he attempted to word his confessions of doubt to her.

"Sara..." he started turning to face her after taking a deep breath for courage.

"Yes?" She raised an eye brow licking honey off her finger as she looked at him.

"Is everything okay?" Greg offered as a cue for her to open up.

"Of course it is...why?" Sara replied strolling slowly to him, her hips swaying in a way she knew would draw his attention. But his tortured expression didn't falter. Greg swallowed attempting to get rid of the lump that was building up in his throat. He knew Sara. He knew her ability to lie- her ability to cover up every single one of the scars that lingered on her heart.

"Because...things feel different..." He attempted to figure out what he was trying to say but realised that all he could do was declare his need for the truth. "Sara...please, don't lie to me... don't do this to me..."

"I'm not lying..." She was standing directly in front of him now. She was standing close enough that he could see the rise and fall of her chest as she was breathing and the flickering emotions in her eyes.

"I'm scared I'm going to lose you." He whispered to her with all of the honesty he could muster. Greg could see the memories that had clouded her emotions recently and he feared that she would think what they had done was a regret. He feared that he was not enough for her- that their love was not what he had believed it to be.

"You're not going to..." Sara replied whispering into his ear stepping into him, her body pressed up against his, her arms around him. She took his earlobe between her teeth, letting her tongue run gently along it knowing full well that it would get him going- have him melting in her arms soon enough. Greg resisted attempting to push her away but it failed because she pulled him even closer to her.

"I love you Greg Sanders. And I promise you, you're never going to lose me." She announced, looking into his hazel eyes to prove to him that she was not lying, before she began kissing his neck her hands running down his torso before climbing back up but this time under his shirt her finger tips tracing a familiar path on his skin.

Greg gasped and just like that he was attempting to push all of the uncertainty away. With her touch he had attempted to convince himself to believe of all the words that came out of Sara's mouth.

He closed his eyes letting himself melt into her touch- letting himself be what she wanted.

Hoping from the depth of his soul it was enough.


	10. Chapter 10

Thank you all for reading and reviewing- I hope you all like the ending.

I know that there have been very few honestly happy moments in this fic- but I wanted to write something sincere about the whole experience.

Disclaimer: I own zilch. (apart from a broken heart)

**The Reason that the Sky is Blue **

**Part Ten: Epilogue **

The only sound in her ears was that of the waves lapping up against the sand and the steady flow of the traffic in the distance. The feeling of the ocean breeze washing over skin felt like silk as she let the entirety of the situation sink in. She let her finger's grasp tighter on to his hand. She opened her eyes and took in the beauty of the dusky sky as the stars began shining above them. The rocky cliffs of South Laguna Beach enclosed them in a borrowed heaven. The beach around them lay deserted by the sun, the crowds and the noise. The sun had begun its slow decent over the world leaving nothing but a glimmer of orange at the horizon.

Sara pulled herself up kneeling beside Greg as his eyes remained closed. Over the year that had passed she had spent many mornings watching him as he slept, her head resting on his bare skin listening to the sound of his heart beat and feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest that spoke as proof of his life. It was in those precious moments that she would be astounded with the affection that flooded her body by simply just being in his presence. And with every day the guilt had slowly faded turning into a simply scar of what it had once been.

"What?" Greg asked with a smirk as he opened one eye to see Sara watching over him with in a fervid daze.

"Nothing" She murmured her eyes not leaving his face as she gently brushed sand away from his cheek.

"Then stop being creepy." He smiled closing his eyes again Greg laid back the feeling of contentment heavy on his heart. Never had he imagined that he could be so happy. The past year had disappeared with the surrealistic imagery of a dream and Greg realised he could honestly think of no other place he wanted to be other than by Sara's side. They had weathered the storms, they had weighed their wars and they had survived all of the heart ache for something that blinded them both with its intensity and its honesty.

"Greg... I have something for you." Sara announced quietly clutching a small object in her hand, the metal digging into her palm. In that moment it was as if she had regressed to childhood as if she had forgotten the years of pain and hurt that were about to come and could look at him with the eyes of someone who still knew how to trust, someone who still knew the innocence of love. The man before her pulled himself into a sitting position his hair like a golden halo in the dimming day light, his hazel eyes watching her with concern; he cared for her so much it hurt.

"Here." She dropped the small ship into his out stretched hand and paused to run her tongue over her lip to moisten it, knowing that he would be wanting an explanation for her offering. "We used to play monopoly on Tuesday nights. It was the only time that I can remember in my childhood that I felt like I was a part of a family. I lost the ship but one day I found it under my bed. The day I was taken into foster care I had it in my hand. I kept it with me every day since then. I would pretend that one day I would be able to sail away. It reminded me that there was a whole world out there- that there was always an escape. But I don't need it any more. I don't want to escape There is nowhere else I want to be but with you Greg."

"Thank you..." Greg leant forward kissing her softly his hand tucking her hair behind her ear; he pulled away his eyes filled with love and affection. "I love you."

"I love you too." Sara muttered back pulling him into another kiss not breaking their kiss and straddled him climbing into his lap. His hands found their place on her hips as hers rested on his chest. They lazily undressed each other, planting feathery kisses to skin they were exposing. Sara wrapped her arms around her neck pulling him closer as they rocked against each other losing themselves in the sensations that they were experiencing. She gasped as she peaked whispering his name, he silently released holding her even tighter. The moon light shone down on them now, the stars were like diamonds studding the velvet of the night sky. The water was like ink was endlessly lapping up against the white sand.

In that moment the hurt, the guilt and the lies it had taken to get here didn't matter because they had found something that they would never let go of.

As they looked into each other's eyes they knew in that moment- this was it.

There was nowhere else they would rather be.

**The End **


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